Before I being, I just want to notw that I kicked this article off with a cleverly designed double bluff using a title that is so obviously unlikely to entice anybody to continue reading that it almost forces you to continue reading to see what I was thinking. I have literary balls of steel.
To continue the steel balls theme, I’d like to turn my attention to Ford Sync - a Sync you can literally be N’. Ford Sync is a hands-free control system that allows you to link your smartphone or other communications and entertainment devices to a voice- and dashboard-control system. Using Sync, you can you make phone calls, let the car read you text messages, voice-activate your MP3 player, and more. You can even run apps off your dashboard, which is just precisely what cars need – more things for you to do while driving that aren’t actually driving.
Look, driving while talking on the phone is a terrible idea. Everybody knows this. Ford most definitely knows this. I’ve never understood the hands-free thing as a solution. People driving while talking on the phone isn’t dangerous because they have one less hand on the wheel; it’s dangerous because they’re paying rapt attention to Uncle Frank instead of the thousands of stel-clad death machines hurtling at the driver with an approach speed of over a hundred miles an hour. Ford’s response to the problem of cell phone use in cars? Let’s make it easier to make phone calls – oh and we’ll add some apps to the dashboard too.
It’s only a matter of time before there is a laptop screen projected on the windshield like some kind of Darwinian Heads-Up Display, just testing your will power to keep watching the road when you could be playing Mario Kart. There’s an awkward ticket to explain in court. “Why’d you drive your car into a deli?” “I was dodging a red shell, officer.” Sure.
This is one of the many reasons I take public transit. I leave the driving to professionals. If I want to listen to music, I just listen to music. If I want to talk on the phone, I use my phone, and I talk, and I don’t kill anybody. No explaining to anybody how I drove full tilt into a parked building. And if anybody tries to Sync their car with the bus I’m on at 60 miles an hour, I know which team I want to be on.