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Not long ago (well, actually, in 2007, which is technically forever ago) Facebook tried to bring about THE END OF PRIVACY AS WE KNOW IT! Or as they called it, “Beacon.” Beacon, essentially, was a way of advertising what you were doing, whenever you interacted with a corporate brand or logo. Obviously advertising the actions of people who post them publicly would be the end of privacy in the United States, exactly the way completely warrantless wiretaps weren’t, so there was a huge outcry and Mark Zuckerberg apologized.

And by “apologized” I mean “bided his time in his secret laboratory while the forgetful humans went about their daily lives,” which is perhaps a less well-known meaning for the word “apologized” but accurate enough. And sure enough, with an empire 550 million users stronger than it was in 2007, Zuckerburg neatly and somewhat stealthily slid in a new form of advertising that used your interactions with brands and logos to sell more ad space. And it’s once again THE END OF… wait, wait, hold on, let me check my Wall to see what every one of my friends – all of whom use Facebook every day – think about this.

And the verdict is … they either don’t know, don’t care, or both. But hey, honestly, it’s not 2007 anymore – did I mention that was forever ago? These days everyone already KNOWS privacy is dead.

The butler did it.

And we don’t care! In fact, it’s about time somebody shot privacy in the face like a quail. All it did was give people hangups because they thought they had to hide everything. Now that there’s no hiding, people are going to be forced to deal with all their weirdness – and everyone else’s weirdness too. Once everyone sees how weird everyone else is, we’ll stop being worried about silly garbage that doesn’t matter and focus on the really important things. Like all the money we’re going to spend on Starbucks coffee and (your ad here!) and Transformers.